It’s always daunting going to a play group or soft play centre. I go for Baby L but I also go for myself as well. I go in the hope of meeting other mums’, to have a chat with an adult for an hour, to maybe develop a friendship. But it’s quite a scary environment to put yourself in to sometimes. It’s like dating all over agin but for friends and not for life partners. The normal questions will arise, how old is your little one? Are they sleeping through the night? But then the question I dread, so when are you back to work then?
Of course my answer is that I am not, not for now anyway. I am a full time stay at home mum. Sometimes that’s just enough, even if I do try and justify myself unnecessarily by saying I have started a business from home and I write a blog (which sometimes presents a whole new host of questions). But sometimes to just say you are a full time mum isn’t enough because you are presented with a reaffirmation from the person you are chatting to, are you JUST a mum then?
Well yes, yes I am, queue me trying to do the whole justification thing again.
I understand we live in a modern world. I do. And if I’m honest I probably would work if it was worth it. You see the job I have done most of my working life was in car sales, and now that I have a family I don’t want to work till 8pm most nights and every weekend. I would never see my boys. My alternative was to work in the office but yet the salary against full time childcare left little to be desired, without any funding from the government I wouldn’t be working for much, so what was the point?
Someone asked me this exact question today, with no hurt or hard feelings behind it, and it sort of got me thinking.
What’s so wrong with just being a mum anyway?
I can’t say it’s the easiest thing I have ever done. Being solely responsible for this little boy each day without any help is tiring in itself. Sometimes I feel like I may have sang twinkle twinkle little star until I am blue in the face. Some days my brain feels like it has turned to mush because I have been subject to yet more Peppa Pig, and really how does Miss Rabbit have all those jobs anyway?
Most days I cry because the boss (Baby L) is giving me a hard time. The pasta I have cooked him is just simply not good enough and not even worth trying, the moment when he knows he is tired but yet sleeping is for wimps, the endless putting of toys away only to walk away and find the other room you just tidyed a mess again. I could go on.
It’s tedious and repetitive, like most jobs. Some days are better than others. You improvise, you become a clown, you are the shoulder to cry on, you are the target to be thrown at.
But just being a mummy is one of the best things I have ever done.
Every circumstance and situation for each and every family is different. I am extremely lucky that I didn’t have to go back to a job where I wouldn’t see my family to just make ends meet. However if I had a career or job I loved I would have gone back to that whether we were in our fortunate position or not. This isn’t about stay at home mums’ versus working mums’ because we are all JUST mums’ at some point of the day.
I just wish I didn’t feel the need to justify myself.
Have you ever felt this way?
Thanks for reading
The L’s Mum