Today is bank holiday monday. I am not going to spoil things too much by telling you what we have all been up to today as I have a few posts coming up this week about it. I was a Morrisons Mum this weekend. Today has been all about relaxing. We went out shopping for some of L’s birthday presents. I have been rather emotional again today and I have no idea why. I feel a little out of control of my life but yet I have complete control. Nothing seems to make sense in my head at the moment. I read something which basically said that the best thing to do is everyday strive to be better than you were yesterday. I care too much what people think of me and not enough about making things better for myself. I started the sleep training again with L this weekend and so far it has been ok. I plan to blog all about it over the next few weeks as I know I am not the only one to suffer with sleep deprivation. Some mums might agree with it, some mums may not. But every mum knows what’s best for their own children, right? Well I say every mum I realise there are some exceptional circumstances. Anyway enough about that. What did you all get up to on bank holiday? I am just about to settle down and watch 24 again. I’m getting a little predictable. On another note I was treated to a sewing machine today and I’m quite excited about a new hobby. Obviously I have big ambitions but I am trying not to run before I can walk with this. Here’s a picture of it. I fell in love with the colour.
Today has been a productive day. I managed to get some cleaning and washing done which has made me feel loads better. I am a strong believer of tidy house tidy mind and because of the bank holiday I have taken a more relaxed approach to the chores. But because things have been done I feel much better in myself. I have been thinking a lot about the way I have been with my approach to life recently. I hate feeling so negative but I realise that I only have myself to blame for this. I tend to start things and not finish them. The L’s Papa describes it as a bull in a china shop. I run before I can walk and then find myself getting frustrated. I have decided to focus on things and once I start something plan to finish it. It’s like household chores. I will find that I will start putting the washing away and then get sidetracked by my macbook. I will have every intention of cooking something but then get distracted and then it gets to late to cook what I have planned. These are just some examples. Anyone else like me? Every week I tell myself that things are going to be better than the previous week. That I am going to master something, or accomplish something. That I am going to improve in some way, be it a dutiful housewife task or just getting some jobs done I have been putting off. This week is no different. I am in control of my life and I am the only one that can change things for the better. Baby L is teething really badly at the moment, poor thing. He keeps crying uncontrollably. We are still dummyless. He’s doing ok without it I only struggle when it comes to nap time but today Scout the puppy helped me out with his bedtime music. Worked a treat. Right now I am off to make some tea and get L settled for the evening.
I have been so productive today, I’m pretty roped of myself. I’ve cleaned, I have mopped the floors, I have done some washing, I have tidied up. The house is starting to look good again. I have done some blogging and scheduled some posts, and things are starting to get clearer in my mind again. L had a reasonable night last night, just woke up the once. Spoke to my mum and dad this morning and my auntie this afternoon. I actually feel like its been a good day. Its been a rubbish day weather wise though, so the only thing that was on my list to do that I didn’t manage to was to take L out for a walk. L is into everything at the minute. Whilst I have been working away in the kitchen he has been opening cupboards and pulling things out. Little monkey. Today has been fairly relaxed day, looking forward to getting organised and relaxing in front of the Tv with the other half.
Today has been a real tough day. Probably one of the worst days I’ve had in the last few months. I have been so incredibly selfish. Always thinking of myself and never about how my actions are making other people feel. I really have been sticking my head in the sand when it comes to certain aspects of my life and when it gets pointed out, like it has done today, I just break down and cry. I can’t handle any kind of criticism, be it constructive or otherwise. I just seem to instantly hit out that I have failed and thats the end of it. I have had a productive day, don’t get me wrong, but things have just been really hard and today the straw finally broke the camels back once more and I feel broken. I’m planning on going to sleep tonight, and forgetting all about today and starting again tomorrow. Today prompted me to write a Letter to The L’s Papa.
What a difference a day makes. Today has been lovely. I have caught up on all those odd jobs this week which meant that come lunchtime, there wasn’t much to do. So me and L braved the weather and decided to walk into the local town and get some fresh air. Pick up some teabags (as I’d ran out) and some cake. Bought some magazines and once i’d got home i put my feet up and relaxed for an hour whilst L played. It felt so good. I’d had some fresh air and i’d had a little me time. All be it still in full on mummy mode but that so beats how things have been recently. It seems that keeping on top of chores means that I can spend afternoons going out for walks. It’s actually made me feel excited for the nicer weather and getting out more with L. Being a little braver and going to the parks. I also picked up me first sewing magazine so I am full of thoughts and inspirations running through my head. It seems good to have some focus again. Tonight I am going to crack open some bubbles, and toast the end of the week, and look forward to a nice weekend with The L’s Papa. I really have been neglecting him. He reminded me yesterday that he wants his best mate back, I haven’t really been much of a friend to him recently or anyone for that matter. I haven’t been to nice to be around. But when things get brought to your attention thats when you can start to do things about it, right?
This weekend has been all about relaxing. We literally had nowhere to be to anything that needed to be done. It was nice to just have nothing to do. Nobody demanding our attention, or needing us to be somewhere. It’s been that relaxing that on saturday I had a nap. It was so unexpected but I just happened to fall asleep on the sofa. I felt fantastic afterwards. Today I have been doing some cooking, and I caught up with my little blog. I added an idea on how to use leftover vegetables if you would like to take a look. Its just been nice to relax and spend time with the family. The weather has been shocking, so we haven’t ventured out of the house. Hopefully tomorrow the weather will be better and this week will be a good week. I am going back to the baby group tomorrow and off to Zumba in the evening. How has your week been? I hope its been kind to you.
Thanks for reading
The L’s Mum